im sick

i can barely hold my phone up

but the post inside me cries for not expressing itself

How cruel this disease is, it doesn't let me live in peace, neither does it let me die. 

It feels like someone is gambling with my life, twisting the very concept of time and space. 

Each minute of life feels like an hour of torture. 

I wonder if God is punishing me for not pleading towards him. The people around me are sick too, although they pray day and night. 

Life brings lessons, I wonder what this disease has brought. It has not brought the fear of death, nor the beauty of life. Im being crushed and I feel my head exploding in a thousand pieces, yet a person assures me that a tablet will keep my head intact. No matter how much I try to believe him, this disease whispers into my ears, "I'll be gone in a few days, let me feed on your anger. I want to hear you cuss every time you realise your nose is blocked. I want to hear you cry every time your frail body rolls down the floor and most importantly, I want to hear you plead to god, everytime you find yourself in desperation"

Desperation you say? So you really were sent by God. 

I ask again, what lessons have you brought. You truly are a monster, you induce pain and relish my desperation. 

You're not so different from us then, are you?

I see people in pain and yet do not help them. I can see tears rolling down their cheeks and yet I'm not modest enough to offer a handkerchief. 

I see, 

You're punishing me for my arrogance. 

I have now come to know that, I've always been sick. Everyone around has always been sick. You only share a piece of their pain. 

Ironic for a disease to stay and teach humanity.